belly update

the belly:

taken one day shy of 19 weeks

i feel like the belly had 'popped' but have been told by many that it hasn't yet

haha

in case you haven't heard...

momma knows best.... 

 this baby is all GIRL!!!

boy or girl??

tomorrow's the big day and it seriously feels like christmas eve!

this last week could have been the longest week of my life and tomorrow may be even longer since our appt isn't until 4:00.

i really am thinking this baby is a girl, but josh is pretty set on it being a boy...

at least tomorrow we'll finally be able to stop arguing about it and start the shopping sprees.

i've been asked why i haven't posted any belly pictures- well, that's because i have no belly... yet.

it's pudgy, but there is no bump to speak of.  i'm still in all my regular clothes and hoping that i get a little belly soon just so all my patients stop looking at me like i'm crazy when i tell them i'm about 4 months pregnant.  but i have gotten my first few pregnant clothes from my sweet momma and i'm excited to start sporting them soon!

i'm definitely starting to feel better- that first trimester was no fun.  i had constant nausea and exhaustion and it is amazing to finally be getting my energy back.  i'm sure josh loves getting his "normal" wife back, too!

current cravings:  popsicles, fruit, and mexican food :)

as of today, i'm 17 weeks!

baby hankins update

first of all, thanks so much for all the love and support!

we received an overwhelming amount of phone calls, cards, texts, messages, facebook comments etc. and we couldn't be more grateful and excited for this little baby to make its big debut.

so, i thought i'd update the blog on everything that has happened these last few weeks.  this will be more of a journal entry than anything really.

first, a positive pregnancy test on december 14th.

it's the first time i've ever even been late so i didn't want to make a big deal of it and i didn't even tell josh.  i snuck away after work one night and took it privately.  when i saw the two solid lines, my heart completely stopped.  in my mind, i always thought it would be fun to announce to josh we were pregnant in a cute way.  well, that definitely didn't happen.  i grabbed the stick and mustered up all the courage i had (remember, he didn't even know i was late) and went out to the front room.  he was watching a basketball game, i asked him to turn it off.  he asked what was wrong and i don't think i said anything.... i'm pretty sure i just sat down and stared at him.  he looked at me like i was a freak for a second until i handed him the stick wrapped up in toilet paper.  

he was puzzled until he asked "what is this?" 

"a pregnancy test"

"what does it mean?"

"it says we're pregnant"

"how do you know that?"

"there are 2 lines"

"did you read that on the back of the box?  are you sure" 

"yes, josh... i'm sure"

"i think you should take another one just in case.  and maybe i'll pee on one too just to make sure we know what a negative one looks like"

and then he turned the tv back on.

haha!  i think both of us were in a bit of shock.  needless to say, 4 very positive pregnancy tests later we were finally convinced that i should at least go get a blood test done.

a few days later the blood test confirmed we were officially (and finally!) pregnant!

so then we had to make the decision of  when we wanted to tell our families.  i have always been iffy on this subject- tell everyone too early and you may miscarry and then explain to everyone what happened.  tell them later and have that big secret bottled up inside.  we decided to tell our immediate families sooner than later because #1- it was christmas time and #2- some of our family members started "sensing" something was up and were having dreams and calling us and asking us if we were pregnant.  definitely awkward and i hated lying to them! 

so, we decided to announce on christmas eve to josh's family and on christmas day to mine.  we just couldn't hold it in any longer.  also, we wanted kristi to know before she went in for her second round of treatment on the 26th in hopes that it would keep her spirits up.   

remember, this is the first grandbaby on both sides of our families so everyone's reactions were exactly what we expected! 

josh's family does a little christmas program every year on christmas eve.  this year we made it so that we went last and i wrote up a really cheesy little poem and josh read it.  

for my family, we gave my parents this present to open very last and asked my mom to read the note out loud.  

haha... there were lots of tears and hugs and talk of future baby names that day.  some that were possibilities and some that were just downright terrible.  my favorite part of the video: "oh... this is the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!"  that was followed by "i call dibs on that baby's first trip to disneyland!"  haha!

we asked everyone to keep quiet until we had our first ultrasound.  we went in for that on january 11th.  everything looked good with the baby and i think that's when it set in a little more that we were actually expecting.  it was so exciting to see our little peanut's first picture!

so, the due date is still a little undetermined.  based on my schedule, it's august 17th.  based on the ultrasound, it's august 23rd.  the dr said we'll go with the 17th for now and possibly adjust it at a later appointment.

so that means i'm in my 12th week and everything is going well.  to answer most of your questions, yes i have been sick and tired.  it hit right around christmas and i had the morning sickness and nausea for a few weeks.  it was really hard to keep the pregnancy a secret at work when i was running to the bathroom to throw up all the time.  this past week has been much better though and i am finally starting to get my energy back (enough to head back to the gym which has been nice).  i never realized how tired baking a baby can make you!

so that's pretty much everything.  i don't have any "mother's instinct" for what we're having but when people ask, we always say i want a girl and josh wants a boy :)  really, we just want a healthy, happy baby but josh's boy names are absolutely dreadful and we can't agree on any boy names we both like  :)  also, all the gender prediction tests we've taken so far have said it will be a girl... and my friend's little 2 year old boy keeps saying it's a girl too so i think that has solidified it for me!

i think everything is still sinking in because it still doesn't feel too real.  maybe when i start showing or when we find out what we're having it'll feel more real.

xoxo
l & j

you ready for this??

2012 looks like it will be our BEST year yet!!!

............................

baby hankins will be here this august!!

we can't even tell you how absolutely thrilled we are!!!

we've been wanting this baby for a long time!

more details later!!

christmas card 2011

in case i didn't get yours out in time :)

merry christmas!!

strength

so i guess you just never know when life is going to throw you a curve ball.

it has been 4 years (almost to the day) that josh started his first round of interferon for his stage 3 melanoma.  it seems like forever ago and just yesterday all at the same time.

well, when we thought the whole cancer thing was far behind us, we received some very unexpected news- josh's mom, kristi, found a lump on her side and after a series of tests, she has also been diagnosed with melanoma- but hers is stage 4.

these past few weeks have been somewhat of a blur- tests, scans, meetings with doctors, and treatment options.  a decision was made and she started her treatment today.

she checked into huntsman for a week with her iPad, kindle, movies, slinky (haha), nerf gun, etc in tow.

we have been amazed at the love and support that has been offered in her behalf.  friends, family, co-workers, and total strangers have offered prayers and best wishes in her behalf.

you can never have too many prayers in your behalf :)

i have been amazed at kristi's amazing attitude through this whole process.

she has always been so upbeat and positive, but my goodness she is full of so much optimism and hope.

i know that a positive attitude is exactly what she needs to get through all of this.

she is loved by so many people and it brings tears to my eyes to constantly see and hear the acts of kindness that have been offered to her.

for example, tonight the murray high school choir came into her room and sang to her.

i wasn't there, but i'm sure it made her beam from ear to ear.

we decided to do some family pictures this past weekend... i love how they turned out!

here is a teaser, there is more to come from the lovely ali sumsion

the hankins clan sure is good lookin!

kristi-

you are a beautiful, strong woman and have been a rock to your entire family through all of this.

you have been such an example of faith and courage and i truly admire those eternal qualities.

we are here for you no matter what and want you to know how much we love you!!